Suicide and trust issues...

The recent suicide of a young pastor in our area has become the focus of much prayer and deliberation by the congregations in our area.  The concern is:

"we as clergy and congregations are not doing as good a job of watching out for one another as we might..."We need to do better..."

The sense is that too many pastors feel isolated and unable to cope or to seek help.

The following is a personal reflection on this matter.

First, depression in ministry is a very real issue. Many pastors feel isolated, face a sanctuary pocketed with some individualistic, self-affirming, self-righteous congregants, and find little in the way of support.

Sometimes it can seem that every pew warming individual thinks they know better than the pastor what the pastor should be doing.  

Those people who shun witch doctors and home schooling, who seek out specialists for the heart conditions and lawyers for their legal issues, sometimes seem to think they know better than a trained professional cleric how the church should work. Those who cannot even state what their own denominational or congregational distinctives are, feel free to pontificate on what they believe ought to be seen as right and true in the church of Jesus Christ.  Those who can quote "Do not judge," most often haven't a clue what that means, or who talk about "love" but want to define for themselves what constitutes love...  

The reality of isolation also exists when pastors can't trust one another, when pastors are called on by the judicatory body (in my case the Presbytery) or by other staff to betray one another.  

In my case colleagues admitted, confidentially out of fear of retaliation, that they had been approached by other colleagues and Presbytery Staff to come alongside me to glean information about what may be happening in the congregation I served and to share that with others for admittedly nefarious reasons.  "Were the disagreements of a few parishioners, so disruptive to the congregation, that the pastor, with whom they disagreed, may be seen as fueling that disruption?"

Information, which was obtained by others in whom my confidence had been placed, was eventually used to carefully craft charges against me of disturbing the peace of the congregation... a charge which is apparently being used in several presbyteries (based on my conversation with four other PC(USA) colleagues, in four other presbyteries, who have had the same charges brought in the same fashion). It almost amounts to a theological cleansing of those who hold to the traditional fundamentals of the faith: the virgin birth of Christ, Christ’s vicarious atonement, Christ’s bodily resurrection, the reality of miracles, and the promise of Christ’s bodily return.  (It may be interesting to note for the reader that these "five fundamentals" were brought forth by the (then) northern branch of Presbyterianism as a reaction to the heresy of "modernism"). Read more here.

My personal sense is that it is not inappropriate for pastors to question whether or not other pastors are "there for them."  In my case, many I had come to trust, betrayed that trust, simply to curry favor with particular individuals who might advance their standing in the denomination.

As a result, both the integrity of that congregation and my personal reputation have been destroyed. The very structure that claimed to support the clergy is being used to destroy the ministries of those who dare to challenge the systemic failures of the structure.  

The deep and life threatening depression through which one may or may not successfully come can be the direct result of a betrayal of (so called) colleagues. 

As one former parishioner, John Shortridge, once counseled me, "be VERY careful whom you trust.  Take time to make friends. Test them. Guard your heart and your soul. And stay close to Jesus." I should have listened more carefully...

It's become my clarion call to those who dare to ask for my input:

"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." [1Peter 5:8]

And that roaring lion can take the form of a denominational official, a colleague, a friend, or even a family member. 

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. [Ephesians 5:15-16]

Remember it was Judas who betrayed Jesus...

The answer, which is always the case? Jesus Christ alone in whom we can have complete trust! For those who have walked this road and come through that valley the Truth is:

10 Years of Mission...

 

A Look Back in Pictures...